1: A scenario where shame might be triggered.

A group of students on a ward, gather around the ‘attendant’ (educator), and one student raises their hand to ask a question; the attendant zeroes-in on the student, causing them to feel exposed and put on the spot (bottom left); we see the student feeling completely exposed, with a rising sense of humiliation and panic; their perception of their environment and fellow students is distorted by how self-conscious they feel. They anticipate the judgement of others which almost burns them; their body feels hot, too big and too visible; we see the student has had to escape into a bathroom cubicle, leaving a trail behind them. They do not feel totally ‘in’ their body; they are overwhelmed and need to hide and regain a sense of grounding and safety. They can’t bear people to see them like this. 

Method: The textured elements in the background of the drawing, and the trail under the cubicle, were created using black ink and a sponge, on paper, which was scanned and manipulated in Photoshop. The rest of the image was rendered digitally.

Turnaround Time: This image went through 4 rounds of changes, and including these adjustments took approximately 15 hours to complete.

2: Feelings of Shame begin to Escalate

The student from the previous scene is now in a gloomy bedroom (perhaps a call room within the hospital they work in), sitting on a bed, shut away from everyone. They are ruminating on what just happened, and are beginning to be caught in a loop of self-critical judgements: ‘What’s wrong with me?’ / ‘Stupid?’ / ‘Incompetent?’ / ‘Lazy?’

From their face we can tell that they are barely able to tolerate these feelings, which are trapping and consuming them.

Method: The swirl around the student was made from a scan of marbled paper, that was digitally manipulated. Background textures were created from scans of ink marks on paper made with a sponge. The rest of the image was rendered digitally.

Turnaround time: This image went through 3 rounds of changes, and including these adjustments took approximately 10 hours to complete.

3: The Shame Spirals Out of Control

The student is still sitting on thei bed , but the setting is warped and distorted; their self-critical thoughts are spiralling out of control, and they are completely consumed by them. The feeling of self-hatred is profound; their sense of self has become completely unstable; and the judgements focus on them being fundamentally flawed, not belonging, and being a failure: ‘You ARE stupid / incompetent / lazy’ … ‘Something wrong with you’. 

This scene is supposed to emphasise the way that shame can cause people to completely withdraw from others, because of an unshakable and corrosive feeling of being inherently abhorrent / unworthy / monstrous / defective.

Shame, although illustrated here in an approximate form based on similarities in the experiences of multiple students, is deep, personal and contextually experienced. 

Method: The swirl around the student was made from a scan of marbled paper, that was digitally manipulated. Background textures were created from scans of ink marks on paper made with a sponge. The rest of the image was rendered digitally.

Turnaround time: This image went through 3 rounds of changes, and including these adjustments took approximately 10 hours to complete.

4: The Storm Clears

The student from the previous images is now standing up; their feelings are resolving themselves into a space in their chest - the storm is passing, but traces remain. 

A colleague/fellow student has entered the room, and brings with them a glow of light from the world outside, that they had previously shut themselves away from. The colleague hands the student back their white coat, which had been hanging on the back of a chair: this represents stepping back into a sense of self, in this case a professional identity, a role that they thought they couldn’t possibly belong in. The colleague also has a swirling ball in their chest, suggesting a sense of solidarity/empathy, and the potential to recover oneself without needing to get rid of these feelings: they can be integrated into who you are, and allowed to be there.

This final illustration attempts to convey the sense that, when you have experienced shame, letting someone in (although it feels impossible, because you are intensely ashamed and vulnerable) can be a way forward, and can help you come to terms with what you’ve experienced, and regain a sense of yourself that is less distorted. 

Method: The swirl of the smoke and within the ball in both figures’ chests was made from a scan of marbled paper, that was digitally manipulated. Background textures were created from scans of ink marks on paper made with a sponge. The rest of the image was rendered digitally.

Turnaround time: This image went through 2 rounds of changes, and including these adjustments took approximately 8 hours to complete.